In light of finding out from Emily’s father that Christopher, my son, isn’t mine; I will be posting old videos with my Buddy Bear in them. To remind everyone, this news is unconfermed but came directly from Emily’s dad. So it must be real
Yea so tonite I am walking around the mall and I happen to walk into a Abercrombie store. I was with my good friend Jimmy so you know nothing good can come from this trip. Anyways, the first thing Jimmy does is spray himself wih some fragrance. When I say spay, I mean soak. After doing this Jimmy looks a the bottle that he just blindly sprayed himself with and realizes its perfume. Soon afer this happens some black kid comes up to the two of us and asks us where he can find some pants or was it a shirt…. I cant remember bu my point is, Jimmy and Wheeler were sterotyped as a preppy enough person that I or Jimmy would work at the store. Just a little reverse racisim for you. Ohh for he record, I was wearing a nike hoddy, fleece swea pants, and adidas sandels.
Recent adventures in MySpace have led me to many fascinating people. Most of these people are weird in their own ways but generally are decent people. Some of these encounters have made me wonder what was I thinking or man I really hit the jackpot. All of this has made want to help others with a “MySpace Survival Guide”if you will. Enough with the intro, here is the meat-
1.You have your myspacers who live on it and without they would have withdraws that rival heroine. These are the people that will spam your bulletins with whore trains and add this person because they are hot and will comment your page. Stay away from these people. they are both annoying and impersonal.
2. The next group is the bands that think you really want to hear their crappy music. First off I am not a bluegrass fan and second you spammed me with a automated message. So FUCK OFF! You must be weary of these people as they can be sneaky with one good song on their page and then carpet bomb you with sounds that make your ears fell like they are on fire.
3. Everyones favorite, the pornstar that has the half naked picture displayed. Its no wonder why this chick has 10,000 friends. This user preys on the lonely guys that are on a semi-porn binge. I have fallen victim to them many times. These users are relatively harmless until your girlfriend sees them. Use caution when adding these people to your friends list as you may become addicted. this group also includes the 14 year old with her tiny boobs pressed together in a attempt to piss off her father. You know who you are.
4. Lastly, you have the people that you actually know. These friends are the best because you know that most everything they sa on their page is bull shit and you try not to laugh to hard at them because you know that they know that you know they know you are a bull shitter too. These people are the safest bets when it comes to myspace adds.
I tell you these things so that maybe someone will learn from my mistakes. Not all of this applies to everyone but everyone does fit into one of these 4 categories. So please MySpace a little safer America
!@#$%^&* this!!! Wow maybe this was suppose to be the week of clarity for me because I have found out alot about some of the key players in my life. Key players is a major overstatement, “people” should cover it nicely with still a little to much sugar. I trust people to much and that forces me to make decisions based on their actions, not my own. Example- Willow tells me that she heard Jacqi say that i was “obsessed” with her. The word “obsessed” is a major buzz word for me, because when I hear it I think of Swim Fan. I aint like that crazy bitch.I tell Jacqi in confidence and no one else. Well Jacqi confronts her on this and it ends up that I promise Willow I would cover for her so Jacqi wouldn’t get mad at her further.
So fast forward a few days. Everyone is having fun at my house. Beer is being drank, music is going, and smiles are seen through out the house. Some unfortunate fool (me) becomes the target of a hate crime. Jacqi asks me what Willow said to me on the frisbee golf course was true. As you will note in the above paragraph, I told Willow I would cover for her. I said no it wasn’t true and the shit started. I was dodging every bullet I could until I was up against the wall. All of the screaming made me break down and the promise I made to Willow collapsed. So now I had two irrational women on my hands. Mind you all of this spawned out of no where. Things went bad and even when I produced solid evidence that proved my innocence, I was meet with screaming from Willow and Jacqi. That’s what women do when they are meet with damaging evidence. Jacqi left my house thinking I was a liar.
In conclusion, I have learned that if you plan on being with someone you work with, make sure that you don’t socialize with other people at work. All they will do is gossip and cause you more stress then you can possibly imagine. Also, Richard, I will not need the “I told ya so” I know you have waiting for me. Because I knew this would happen all along wanting it to or not.
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