Author Archives: Wheeler

About Wheeler

I am a multi car train wreck of half assed dreams. Sure I like the idea of success, but getting there is like super hard and stuff. I probably drink too much and I am a horrible drunk dialer. My mother still does my laundry and comes over to my house to cook me food. When I play video games on XBOX Live I tend to use awful language with young children. My football addiction has been compared to that of a heroin user. I don’t like using condoms. My apartment is super cold by choice. I love to take super hot and excessively long showers. I don’t recycle; in fact I go out of my way to litter. I hate shaving and combing my hair. I wear basketball shorts and hoodies almost all the time. I don’t like Christmas or any other holiday that doesn’t permit excessive drinking. I didn’t vote for Barak Obama. I have been arrested 12 times in 9 different municipalities, all for unpaid traffic tickets. I have been in a knife fight and lost. Golf is something I do poorly. I spell like a blind kid. I stole G.I. Joes from a blind kid when I lived in Baltimore. I am bad with money. You wouldn’t confuse me with Jerry Seinfeld because I am not Jewish or funny. I burn every bridge I can for the sake of making things harder for me when I need something from that person. Anyone that knows me for any period of time finds me disagreeable. The only things I do well are complain and consume.

Cooking bacon, the only true way.


That smell you remember when you were a kid of Sunday breakfast. The lucky ones had it every day but Sunday was my guaranteed Mom made breakfast morning. The smell of freshly pan fried bacon would fill the house like … Continue reading

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HGH testing in the NFL!


Its about time the NFL and it’s player’s union have agreed on a HGH testing policy. They have also changed the punishment for on and off season positive stimulant tests. The HGH testing could begin as soon as the end … Continue reading

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Could a vampire donate blood?


Recently a friend of mine asked me this question, “Can vampires donate blood”? Its a question I hadn’t ever given any thought too and was intrigued at the very idea of seeing Count Dracula being a model citizen and donating … Continue reading

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Triple Decker Chick Water Slide WIN


That dude knows whats up. He gets it…

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This dude knows whats up (VIDEO)


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Difference between the First World and Africa


We ride different animals

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Baby Stories


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