Heidi Montag Can’t Move Her Face


“I had too much Demerol like Michael Jackson did,” she told Access Hollywood’s Billy Bush. “My breathing was five breaths per minute, which is like almost dead.”

Billy asks Heidi, a vocal Christian, whether she has rejected God’s creation.

“Or maybe God gave me extra because he knew what I would be doing,” Heidi said.

When Billy asks Heidi to move her face as much as she can, she blinks her eyes and manages a small, pained smile.

“I feel pretty plastic,” she said. “It’s still hard for me to chew sometimes and I have to speak very quietly because my jaw and everything–I’m still readjusting to talking.”

About Wheeler

I am a multi car train wreck of half assed dreams. Sure I like the idea of success, but getting there is like super hard and stuff. I probably drink too much and I am a horrible drunk dialer. My mother still does my laundry and comes over to my house to cook me food. When I play video games on XBOX Live I tend to use awful language with young children. My football addiction has been compared to that of a heroin user. I don’t like using condoms. My apartment is super cold by choice. I love to take super hot and excessively long showers. I don’t recycle; in fact I go out of my way to litter. I hate shaving and combing my hair. I wear basketball shorts and hoodies almost all the time. I don’t like Christmas or any other holiday that doesn’t permit excessive drinking. I didn’t vote for Barak Obama. I have been arrested 12 times in 9 different municipalities, all for unpaid traffic tickets. I have been in a knife fight and lost. Golf is something I do poorly. I spell like a blind kid. I stole G.I. Joes from a blind kid when I lived in Baltimore. I am bad with money. You wouldn’t confuse me with Jerry Seinfeld because I am not Jewish or funny. I burn every bridge I can for the sake of making things harder for me when I need something from that person. Anyone that knows me for any period of time finds me disagreeable. The only things I do well are complain and consume.
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