I thought all was lost Tuesday evening when I couldn’t find my car keys. Having to be at two jobs will make you f eel that way when you need your car. I cursed, screamed, blamed my mother, and cried. But after reading about defensive end Kendall Langford, I had a new lease on life and found my keys in my back pocket. I amstill not sure why they were in my back pocket of all places.
Anyhow, this rich athlete lost a diamond earring durning football practice yesterday worth 50K. I of all people probably have the worst budgeting skills of anyone in the world but, even I question this purchase.
Defensive end Kendall Langford had lost a 2.5 karat diamond earring during the team’s practice, and there he was afterward with several teammates, all carefully and slowly inching across the field, peering down intently, hoping to discern a small glint. Grounds crew folks lightly combed the turf with rakes. The surreal tableau lacked only an old beachcomber with a metal detector.
This got me thinking. What item would I purchase if I had a spare 50k in my pocket?
1. A home in Fort Lauderdale
I would buy this gem in Fort Lauderdale for 41,000 dollars and crack with the change.
2. Lobster boat
The Trixie Ann is a no brainer! With the left over money I could hire a crew and be a pirate that steals lobsters from other lobster boats.
3. A underwater tiger
Why not? I would take this tiger to those long jump contests they have for dogs and watch my underwater tiger jump really high and far. Then we would go to Dairy Queen for a Cookie dough Blizzard because underwater tigers like cookies and ice cream.
All of these items are real. Click the pictures of these things to see the actual listings. I am going to go look for this missing diamond so I can get me a lobster boat and underwater tiger and shitty house. It’ll be a bulk purchase with a discount!
we all know if you had 50k it would just go up your nose and into tiger squeaky toys…