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		<title>Advocacy Group Decries PETA&#8217;s Inhumane Treatment Of Women</title>
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		<pubDate>Thu, 17 Sep 2009 16:46:49 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[Women Deserve Better says PETA abuses defenseless, simple-minded women by forcing them to remove their clothing and participate in humiliating acts and advertisements for human amusement.]]></description>
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		<title>30 Rock Porn Parody</title>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 15 Sep 2009 16:18:47 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[I don&#8217;t know why they didn&#8217;t call it &#8220;30 Cocks&#8221;.]]></description>
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		<title>Sienfeld Porn</title>
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		<pubDate>Thu, 10 Sep 2009 17:15:54 +0000</pubDate>
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		<title>Friends Parody Porn</title>
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		<pubDate>Sat, 05 Sep 2009 17:09:29 +0000</pubDate>
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		<title>Christian Charity Helps To Feed Non-Gay Hungry</title>
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		<pubDate>Thu, 31 Jul 2008 06:39:31 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[A Colorado-based Christian charity is providing aid for any and all heterosexual Africans in need.]]></description>
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		<title>Tell-All Book Reveals Wrestling Fans Are Fake</title>
		<link>http://dammitwheeler.com/tell-all-book-reveals-wrestling-fans-are-fake/</link>
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		<pubDate>Sat, 19 Jul 2008 18:34:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Wheeler</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[A professional wrestling &#8220;fan&#8221; has written a shocking new book that claims wrestling fans are actually paid actors.]]></description>
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		<title>Beyonce Unhurt After Stray Bullet Hits Passerby</title>
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		<pubDate>Thu, 17 Jul 2008 07:21:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Wheeler</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[Tragedy was narrowly averted when a stray bullet bound for singer Beyonce thankfully struck and became lodged in a passerby.]]></description>
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		<title>Human Head Found In Hamburger</title>
		<link>http://dammitwheeler.com/human-head-found-in-hamburger/</link>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 25 Jun 2008 06:28:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Wheeler</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[An Albany, New York man was surprised to find a human head in his Double Whopper at a local Burger King.]]></description>
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		<title>Device Prevents Nick Nolte From Driving</title>
		<link>http://dammitwheeler.com/device-prevents-nick-nolte-from-driving/</link>
		<comments>http://dammitwheeler.com/device-prevents-nick-nolte-from-driving/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 23 Jun 2008 07:00:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Wheeler</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[The Department Of Transportation unveiled a new mandatory safety system designed to protect American drivers by keeping Nick Nolte off the road.]]></description>
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		<title>Blockbuster Offers Glimpse Of Movie Renting Past</title>
		<link>http://dammitwheeler.com/blockbuster-offers-glimpse-of-movie-renting-past/</link>
		<comments>http://dammitwheeler.com/blockbuster-offers-glimpse-of-movie-renting-past/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 14 Jun 2008 06:25:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Wheeler</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[The Blockbuster Video Living Museum offers tourists a glimpse of how Americans rented movies before the advent of services like Netflix and iTunes.]]></description>
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