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		<title>Realistic War Game</title>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 11 Nov 2009 13:24:59 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[Ultra-Realistic Modern Warfare Game Features Awaiting Orders, Repairing Trucks]]></description>
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		<title>Advocacy Group Decries PETA&#8217;s Inhumane Treatment Of Women</title>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 02 Oct 2009 20:26:15 +0000</pubDate>
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		<title>Advocacy Group Decries PETA&#8217;s Inhumane Treatment Of Women</title>
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		<pubDate>Thu, 17 Sep 2009 16:46:49 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[Women Deserve Better says PETA abuses defenseless, simple-minded women by forcing them to remove their clothing and participate in humiliating acts and advertisements for human amusement.]]></description>
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		<title>Sept 11th: don&#8217;t forget to not masturbate</title>
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		<pubDate>Sat, 12 Sep 2009 04:59:44 +0000</pubDate>
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		<title>Taco Bell&#8217;s New Green Menu Takes No Ingredients From Nature</title>
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		<pubDate>Sat, 04 Jul 2009 01:27:31 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[Taco Bell&#8217;s New Green Menu Takes No Ingredients From Nature]]></description>
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		<title>Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny&#8217;s</title>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 10 Jun 2009 18:18:53 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[Obama will abandon complex policies on emissions, clean coal and refocus on achievable goals like applying deodorant daily, learning what to say when you burp.]]></description>
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		<title>Nation&#8217;s Girlfriends Unveil New Economic Plan: &#8216;Let&#8217;s Move In Together&#8217;</title>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 09 Jun 2009 21:44:17 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[Girlfriends&#8217; spokesperson Kelly Ambrose joins us in the Financial Fallout Shelter to discuss why Boyfriends moving in with them just makes fiscal sense right now.]]></description>
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		<title>Children Exposed To Porn May Expect Sex To Be Enjoyable</title>
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		<pubDate>Thu, 23 Apr 2009 02:06:58 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[Panelists discuss how pornography warps children&#8217;s minds, leading them to believe sex is actually fun rather than shameful and embarrassing.]]></description>
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		<title>Scientists Find Skeleton Of Nature&#8217;s First Sexual Predator</title>
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		<comments>http://dammitwheeler.com/natures-first-sexual-predator/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 03 Apr 2009 20:39:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Wheeler</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[Paleontologists believe the intact skeleton could shed light on the bizarre fetishes of this pervert dinosaur.]]></description>
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		<title>12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Offer To Give Breast Exams</title>
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		<pubDate>Thu, 26 Mar 2009 17:06:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Wheeler</dc:creator>
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